Narrative Lectionary Key Verse for Today
“In those days they shall no longer say:
‘The parents have eaten sour grapes,
and the children’s teeth are set on edge.’
But all shall die for their own sins; the teeth of everyone who eats sour grapes shall be set on edge.”
NL Daily Devotion for Thursday, July 10, 2025
by R. M. Fergus, Clergy Stuff
We love to blame others for our unhappiness. I did it for years and years. My school peers didn’t like me. My husband’s dysfunctional behavior made life difficult. My kids were neurodivergent—not what I signed up for when I decided to have them. My jobs were boring. My back was in pain.
I certainly couldn’t blame my parents. They were and continue to be amazing human beings, amazing parents. I have zero childhood trauma and have always always always had fantastic relationship with them. It’s interesting that I have come across people on multiple occasions who literally do not believe me. They are absolutely certain that I’m in denial. That I’m seeing things through blinders or at least rose-colored glasses. That if I experienced all kinds of emotional pain and insecurity and perfectionism and it caused me to act out in my addictions (food, money) in my 30th, well it obviously had to be their fault.
Okay, stop right there. First of all, I’m well aware my parents are just human beings who didn’t do everything perfectly. I’m well aware that I got messages unintentionally from them that contributed to my perfectionism, which contributed, eventually, to my addictive behavior. But that’s it. The bizarre obsession some people have with finding reasons why their unhappiness is the fault of their family of origin is baffling.
My teeth are not set on edge because my parents ate sour grapes. They were set on edge because I responded to life’s normal pains and trials by escaping into sugar highs and spending sprees. In recovery I learned that how I respond to the world’s capricious challenges is my own responsibility, not that of any other human being. Not even my former husband. And definitely not my parents.
In my experience and opinion, who is responsible for the way I respond to the world?
