Narrative Lectionary Key Verse for Today
“Then his servants said to him, ‘What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while it was alive; but when the child died, you rose and ate food.’ He said, ‘While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, “Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me, and the child may live.” But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.’”
NL Daily Devotion for Monday, October 24, 2022
by R. M. Fergus, Clergy Stuff
There is no right way to grieve. I remember a friend of mine, after she lost her toddler to illness, confiding in me that she wasn’t sure she was “doing it right.” She was questioning her feelings and sometimes lack of feelings, and wondering if something was wrong with her.
Of course something was wrong with her—she’d just lost a child! Grief is completely non-linear. After weeks, months, even years of feeling “okay” grief can cut you off at the knees and send you reeling for days all over again. And I have heard that absolutely no grief is more debilitating, more devastating and traumatic, than that which comes with the loss of a child.
David’s son was dying (supposedly a divine punishment for his sin, which I disagree with) and he was doing everything in his power to prevent it, which meant fasting and prayer and weeping. His servants thought he was going to harm himself in his grief. Yet the moment the child actually died, David seemed to snap back to normal. His logic seems cold, but I expect it is the coldness of denial, and that he will never really recover from the loss. Just look at the way he reacts when his treasonous son, Absalom is killed (2 Sam 18:33).
Over and over again we are reminded of David’s humanness, for better and for worse. This is one of those stories about David which so many of us can find relatable, and feel deep sympathy for this grieving father.
When and how has grief shown up in my life? Where have I found support?
